As a parent of four, I sometimes struggle with the guilt of not dedicating enough time to my children while balancing work responsibilities. As a writer, I typically handle school pick-ups, cook dinner, and after the kids are changed, fed, and have finished their homework, I retreat to my study to concentrate on my writing. I truly love immersing myself in my work, but I can’t help but wonder: is this selfish?
While I am passionate about my work, I often feel a pang of guilt, believing I should dedicate more time to my children, even though they are well cared for and deeply loved. This prompted me to research the effects of working mothers and how their employment impacts their children. Studies indicate that children whose mothers held paid jobs during their early years are significantly less likely to encounter behavioural problems by age five compared to those whose mothers were not employed during that period. This finding was both reassuring and enlightening, as it highlighted the positive aspects of balancing work and family life. It suggested that the presence of a working parent can model independence, resilience, and a strong work ethic for their children. Moreover, it emphasised the importance of quality over quantity when it comes to time spent with family.
So, I began to shift my perspective, focusing more on creating meaningful moments with my children rather than simply counting the hours. We established family traditions, like game nights and weekend outings, which became cherished rituals that strengthened our bond. I also made a conscious effort to be fully present during the time we spent together, listening attentively and engaging with their interests and stories.
This journey taught me that while the guilt of not being able to do it all is a common feeling among parents, it’s important to recognise the value we bring to our children’s lives through our dedication and love. Balancing work and family are an ongoing challenge, but by being intentional with our time and nurturing our relationships, we can create a nurturing and supportive environment for our children to thrive.
Love Eliza x